Courageous Caitie

The story of Courageous Caitie hits so close to home even when the only thing I can relate to is me being a mother to Ava. Or probably because Ava's second name is Caelin which is an alternate version of Caitlin. We do not know the family on a personal level but like everybody else, we were still moved by her story. I only know of the courageous mom Feliz through different online mommy groups and communities. We got to exchange a few chitchats on threads and even had some exchanges through N@W GS. Here's a picture of Caitie wearing Ava's first birthday party dress. She looked so cute.

Caitie during their family trip to HK Disneyland, Photo by her Dad Jay Jay | Ava during her First Birthday Party

It was earlier this year when the mysterious case of of Caitie's illness started circulating. I read about her condition and updates and saw how similar her symptoms were with what my niece, Via, had when she was the same age as Caitie. I checked with my sister about the details of Via's condition back then and realized it was almost the same. I also had a quick chat with Feliz earlier on and shared Via's diagnosis, she told me that other people also mentioned it and it was already ruled out by the doctors. Word started to spread quickly and Caitie's story and the community supporting her continued to expand not only from the country but outside as well.

Daily Caitie updates became a habit. Talked about it with friends, online mom groups, group chats with other moms and more. The highs were celebrated and everybody cheered the family on. But it was when the lowest of times for the family I found it moving the most. Updates of Caitie being unstable, low oxygen levels, platelet of 1 and other complications were hard to take on. But the page becomes even more alive with people offering prayers and encouragement. I guess this was Caitie's effect, everyone is moved by how she courageously takes on what she's battling with that people are left in awe. There's just no room for sadness, just faith, an immense amount of faith.

Early Thursday morning I had to go to Baguio for work. While waiting for our meeting, I was chatting with my co-BLW moms when an update came up asking for prayers because of Caitie's critical condition. We were all hoping and praying for the next update to be a good one, a better one. It was probably the longest hour on Caitie's page as everybody awaited for the next update. And there it was.

A picture of Caitie in the arms of her parents. It was devastating.

After hearing the news, I wanted to immediately go back home to Ava and give her the tightest hug I can ever give. One of my co-BLW mom shared the same feeling as she was also at work. I immediately shared the news to Mr. T and told him how I feel. He just told me that he will take Ava with him when he picks me up later regardless of time.

And when I saw Ava in the car, that's exactly what I did.

An update from Feliz or Jay Jay after sharing the news of Caitie's passing..

Looking back... No wonder you were so advanced in everything. No regrets. So glad we brought you everywhere we could... Did everything we could. Became silly, study, play... Looking back, I know we did everything. No regrets. We lived it to the full. We flew around the world together... I will miss you pumpkin... your EQ, IQ was just so high... Your love for us was just so pure. I love you so much.

This is always on my mind as a parent. To make sure that we live our lives with Ava to the fullest. Day in, day out. It could be as simple as talking over dinner, it could be as grand as a trip to Disneyland. It won't matter. Because amongst all these things, time and love will matter most.

No words will ever be enough to explain the many questions of how and why this happened. I can only hope and pray for God's grace to provide peace and joy to the Lucas family in this very trying time.

Ava sends a message to Caitie. #flyhighcaitie

More of our BLW Story

I know I have been mentioning how much we love our baby-led weaning (BLW) story with our Ava but I just realized that I haven't completely shared some of the things we did that made our  journey successful. So I thought of making this post with high hopes of inspiring other families to at least consider the baby-led approach in feeding their babies.

Let me first give you a quick introduction about BLW, just in case the term is pretty new to you. Baby-led weaning is an alternative approach in introducing solids to babies at six months, we also call it baby-led feeding here in our country. Compared to the traditional way of solid feeding, BLW does not recommend spoon-feeding, mashing or puréeing food. Instead, it allows babies to pick up their food and eat independently. It also encourages a healthier eating habit, so no boxed or jarred baby food, just wholesome and all natural foods cut into chunks big enough for babies to grasp and gnaw.

Here are the things that will happen in BLW:

• The baby sits with the rest of the family at mealtimes, and joins when she is ready.

• She is encouraged to explore food as soon as she is interested, by picking it up with her hands - it doesn't matter whether or not she manages to eat any at first.

• Food is offered in pieces that are the size and shape that the baby can handle easily, rather than as purées or mashed food.

• She feeds herself from the start, rather than being spoon-fed by someone else.

• It's up to the baby how much she eats, and how quickly she widens the range of food she enjoys.

• The baby continues to have milk feedings (breast milk or formula) whenever she wants then and she decides when she is ready to begin reducing them.

- Excerpt from the BLW book by Gill Rapley.

If you are interested in reading more, the best way to start is read the Baby-Led Weaning: The Essential Guide to Introducing Solid Foods - and Helping Your Baby to Grow Up a Happy and Confident Eater by Gill Rapley and Tracey Murkett. Everything you need to know about BLW is in that book.

I thought of sharing our story based on the commonly asked questions I've read in the BLW group or from the questions that I've received from other mamas. I will also share some ideas and principles that we have practiced that made BLW easier and more fun for our family. :)

How did we learn about BLW?

I learned about BLW in one of the breastfeeding meet-ups we attended when Ava was just three months old. Solid food introduction was asked and I distinctly remember one mama sharing how her son eats fruits and vegetables, cut into chunks, independently. Hearing her story amazed me so much that I decided to do some further researches and discussed the things I've learned with Mr. T. He also liked the whole idea and the principles of BLW so we agreed on trying it with Ava. I also learned about a Facebook local support group for those practicing the baby-led approach in feeding their babies - Baby-Led Weaning Philippines. At that time, it was a group of just less than 500 members, and I was amazed at all the stories, photos and videos of babies eating on their own. Now the group has reached more than 8,000 members and it's so nice to see that a lot of mamas (and papas too!) are practicing the same approach and a whole lot more are interested in trying it with their babies.

Tips: It is very important that you understand the whole concept and principles of BLW. That way you will gain confidence in letting and trusting your baby to eat independently. You can also attend some first-aid classes about Infant and Child Safety seminar in case you are worried about choking. There are also a lot of materials online that you can watch and read as well. If you are worried about the thought of a higher choking risk in BLW compared to the traditional feeding, then you should know that it's quite the contrary. In traditional feeding, when you feed your baby mashed or puréed food, the consistency is not much different from their milk, the food can easily slide (or sometimes forced) at the back of their mouth. It does not allow them to chew first before swallowing. In BLW, babies learn to gnaw/bite, chew and swallow at their own pace. In between six and eight months, the gag reflex in babies are particularly sensitive. This reflex in babies prevents food from moving too far at the back of the mouth when they aren't ready to swallow. That's why it is important that you learn the difference between gagging and choking. Basically, if your baby bites a huge chunk and started making a lot of noise and if her face is turning red, that's gagging. Just allow her to manage the food and wait for her to spit it out. But if she's not making any noise (completely) and starts to turn blue, then your baby is choking. Give first-aid immediately and then call for help.

Celebrating One Year of BLW

It was exactly on Ava's 6th month celebration when we introduced her to solids. Her first food was avocado. That was one year ago already.

When we started out with the whole parenting thing, we were basically relying on our doctors, parents and siblings for advises. That meant doing everything the traditional way. As we adjusted a few months later, we began to have a better understanding that we are already building a family of our own. I, particularly, wanted to break from my family's norm of raising up kids. Don't get me wrong, I am forever grateful to my parents and I respect my siblings' decisions in raising up their own kids. It's just that I think, our generations have evolved immensely and there are significant information that we didn't know back then that we know now. That's where our choice for Attachment Parenting (AP) came in.

A Secret Love

All men be like..

My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. She has lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds in her 35 years.

She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day.

Our relationship was on the verge of break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon.

But then I decided to act on it. After all, I've got the most beautiful woman on the earth. She is the ideal of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders. I began to pepper her with flowers, kisses and complements. I surprised her and pleased every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends.

You won’t believe, but she has blossomed. She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much.

And then I realized one thing: “The woman is the reflection of her man!”

This short essay started circulating around emails and Facebook a while back. Some said it was written by Brad Pitt but turned out untrue, leaving the author still unknown up to this date.

It was short and sweet but all men should take notes from this.

100 Days of BLW

Baby Led Weaning (BLW) is defined as:

Quite simply, means letting your child feed themselves from the very start of weaning.
* re ‘wean’. This is meant in the Brit sense, not the American. In the UK, ‘weaning’ means ‘adding complementary foods’, whereas in the States it means ‘giving up breastfeeding’.

I learned about BLW during one of the breastfeeding meetups we attended earlier this year. A was just around three months then. Then I started reading about it and introduced it to Mr. T as well. After reading articles, watching videos and more, I was finally ready and confident enough to do it. Yes, I had to build my confidence level and had to learn the difference between choking and gagging.

And as A turned six months on May 1 of this year, we started our BLW journey.

Our little foodie in training. Her first solid food - avocado. No, she didn't eat cake. Lol.

The Invisible Mother

Becoming a mother can be exhausting, daunting and challenging all at the same time. But I love being one because the rewards are more than enough to compensate me. Just one smile from my little belle and all the exhaustion go away. Just one look of approval and all my anxieties disappear. And by just seeing her grow into a beautiful person, day by day, assures me that I've overcome my challenges from yesterday.

People will only see the surface of how you are as a mother. They won't know the little big things that we do. Unless they (1) are with you every second of the day, or (2) they become mothers themselves. But I'd like to think that one day, when someone sees my little belle all grownup, someone will come up to me and say, "Hey, you did a fantastic job!"

I guess it's a universal feeling shared by mothers everywhere. Just like this story I am sharing. I'm pretty sure we can all relate in one or another.

One super power achieved: INVISIBILITY.