The Yaya Chronicles

It's inevitable for a Mama's blog to have a post or two about her Yaya encounters. Here's mine.

While I did not constantly have a Yaya/Househelp when I was growing up, I still pretty much experienced a lot of dealing with them, mostly when I was all grown up because of my sisters and their babies and a lot of stories from friends and online communities.

And when Ava finally came, I finally had my very own share of Yaya stories.

The first one who came in was when Ava was just around three months old. Yaya #1 agreed to do the job but she eventually confessed that she was pregnant and she just had to get away so her family won't know. Of course we had to let her go and told her that she needs to let her family know about her situation. Yaya #2 was too young and because of the lack of goal and maturity, she got bored and opted to go back home after two months of stay. Yaya #3, we had to let go after a week because she was totally not fit to take care of a baby. That was also the first time I fired a person. Yaya #4 was a familiar face to us. She was my first niece's previous Yaya and she also became our help at home before Mr. T and I got married. She left because of personal issues and later on we heard news that she eventually had a baby on her own. Conveniently for us, while we were looking, and for the third time, she went back to us and became our Yaya from Ava's fifth month until her eighteenth. She left once again because this time, she needed to take care of her own kid.

The one that followed, Yaya #5 lasted for a little more than two months. She took a weekend off and while she was away, we found out that she's been doing some things that are unacceptable, nothing that involved Ava, thankfully. We understand that it comes with being young and all but I really can't tolerate some things. We told her not to come back anymore.

Ditch the Mama Guilt

I have been working for nearly a decade now. Two companies, almost two years in the first one, and I'm on my 6th year here in my current office with only 2 or 3 months of unemployment in between. In case you're not familiar with what I do, I work as a designer in an architecture and interior design company. In our industry, regardless if we are designing residential houses, offices, commercial spaces, etc., all have something common. It's the flexibility and the long working hours needed to complete a certain project. In my previous job, I have experienced staying in the office for two-three days straight to finish a project presentation. But things are better where I am currently working, our company encourages maximizing our office hours instead of rendering overtime work. But as I have mentioned, our industry goes hand in hand with the need for extended work hours so there are days that I still need to stay a little longer just to get things done.

If you are unattached, single, in a relationship or even married without children, your time is pretty much your own. So working in the office until late at night or until the wee hours of the morning even, is really okay as long as you're able and and willing. But when you become a Mama, a baby enters the picture, then poof! Every second will count. Literally. And when the seconds add up to minutes, hours or even days for some, that's when the guilt starts. The guilt doubles up if you're coming home late not because of work, but because of some leisure time with your husband or with your friends. Trust me. I know how anxiety can get to you in the middle of a movie, or in the middle of a good conversation with your friends. It sneaks from below your spine up to the back of your neck. It will even give you goosebumps some times.

But here I am now, having a hot cup of hibiscus tea and a plate of sticky cinnamon bun while waiting for Mr. T to come off of work. I could have gone home earlier but since it's raining, traffic's bad for sure. I'm not that brave to commute at this time. Instead, I'm going to spend the next hour blogging and reading. Do I feel guilty? No.

Internet, hear me. I'm not guilty. Lol. :P

Ok, sometimes I still do feel guilty but not as much as before. And I know Mr. T has completely different views about this, he already knows that going home an hour or two later than usual is already ok. No need to beat ourselves up for it, just make the most out of it. After reading more about attachment parenting, I have come to realize that spending most (if not all) of my time and energy with and for my daughter brings no balance to my personal and our family life. I have to make time for my husband, myself and other things too. In order for me to do this, I needed to do some changes and I am sharing some of them to you.

Why my Husband is my Husband

Everyone, this is my husband, Mr. T. And this is one of our regular conversations when we're both in the office.

I was having my random babbles (as seen on my twitter feed) and I thought of sending it to him so he'll get the message. He got it alright.

You see, he doesn't give me crappy replies and promises me the moon and the stars. Maybe that's one of the reasons why our relationship works. We let each other dream but we also make each other realize that we both have to work hard for our dreams. And when I say both of us, that means equal sharing with all our responsibilities. Both of us doing what we do best and helping each other in areas where we don't do well. He doesn't let me just sit around and order things to be done nor wait for people to do things for me. And the humour and language in our relationship! Lol. It's the kind that will embarrass our children in their teenage years. And yes, that probably is one of our goals as parents.

Conversations like this usually end up on a high note.

So yeah, we peestpamp like rockstars! Hahah!

7 Days without Facebook

I was disconnected to Facebook for a week. Here are the reasons why:

1. I hated the news. The ratio between the good and the bad was very disappointing. And then you'll see people sharing and reposting. There was even this news about two kids missing. Then someone posted about the details of how they were found, lifeless inside an abandoned car, then people added more details by posting comments. Heartbreaking.
2. People became superficial. Not all but some. And it was irritating. Posting statuses about everything they were doing, posting photos of food they were eating, etc. just for the purpose of having something to post. Creating an image very far from reality. You'll see a big difference between people who just want to share and those who go out of their way just so they'll have something to post.
3. Photos of people with tubes and other medical stuff, looking so frail and weak. See, I get the message. But I don't want to see them looking so helpless over and over again. I'd rather see them full of life, fighting.
4. Narcicists! Lol. Seriously, I have friends on my list posting selfies, album after album. Doing this, doing that.