I have been working for nearly a decade now. Two companies, almost two years in the first one, and I'm on my 6th year here in my current office with only 2 or 3 months of unemployment in between. In case you're not familiar with what I do, I work as a designer in an architecture and interior design company. In our industry, regardless if we are designing residential houses, offices, commercial spaces, etc., all have something common. It's the flexibility and the long working hours needed to complete a certain project. In my previous job, I have experienced staying in the office for two-three days straight to finish a project presentation. But things are better where I am currently working, our company encourages maximizing our office hours instead of rendering overtime work. But as I have mentioned, our industry goes hand in hand with the need for extended work hours so there are days that I still need to stay a little longer just to get things done.
If you are unattached, single, in a relationship or even married without children, your time is pretty much your own. So working in the office until late at night or until the wee hours of the morning even, is really okay as long as you're able and and willing. But when you become a Mama, a baby enters the picture, then poof! Every second will count. Literally. And when the seconds add up to minutes, hours or even days for some, that's when the guilt starts. The guilt doubles up if you're coming home late not because of work, but because of some leisure time with your husband or with your friends. Trust me. I know how anxiety can get to you in the middle of a movie, or in the middle of a good conversation with your friends. It sneaks from below your spine up to the back of your neck. It will even give you goosebumps some times.
But here I am now, having a hot cup of hibiscus tea and a plate of sticky cinnamon bun while waiting for Mr. T to come off of work. I could have gone home earlier but since it's raining, traffic's bad for sure. I'm not that brave to commute at this time. Instead, I'm going to spend the next hour blogging and reading. Do I feel guilty? No.
Internet, hear me. I'm not guilty. Lol.
:P
Ok, sometimes I still do feel guilty but not as much as before. And I know Mr. T has completely different views about this, he already knows that going home an hour or two later than usual is already ok. No need to beat ourselves up for it, just make the most out of it. After reading more about attachment parenting, I have come to realize that spending most (if not all) of my time and energy with and for my daughter brings no balance to my personal and our family life. I have to make time for my husband, myself and other things too. In order for me to do this, I needed to do some changes and I am sharing some of them to you.
