Ditch the Mama Guilt

I have been working for nearly a decade now. Two companies, almost two years in the first one, and I'm on my 6th year here in my current office with only 2 or 3 months of unemployment in between. In case you're not familiar with what I do, I work as a designer in an architecture and interior design company. In our industry, regardless if we are designing residential houses, offices, commercial spaces, etc., all have something common. It's the flexibility and the long working hours needed to complete a certain project. In my previous job, I have experienced staying in the office for two-three days straight to finish a project presentation. But things are better where I am currently working, our company encourages maximizing our office hours instead of rendering overtime work. But as I have mentioned, our industry goes hand in hand with the need for extended work hours so there are days that I still need to stay a little longer just to get things done.

If you are unattached, single, in a relationship or even married without children, your time is pretty much your own. So working in the office until late at night or until the wee hours of the morning even, is really okay as long as you're able and and willing. But when you become a Mama, a baby enters the picture, then poof! Every second will count. Literally. And when the seconds add up to minutes, hours or even days for some, that's when the guilt starts. The guilt doubles up if you're coming home late not because of work, but because of some leisure time with your husband or with your friends. Trust me. I know how anxiety can get to you in the middle of a movie, or in the middle of a good conversation with your friends. It sneaks from below your spine up to the back of your neck. It will even give you goosebumps some times.

But here I am now, having a hot cup of hibiscus tea and a plate of sticky cinnamon bun while waiting for Mr. T to come off of work. I could have gone home earlier but since it's raining, traffic's bad for sure. I'm not that brave to commute at this time. Instead, I'm going to spend the next hour blogging and reading. Do I feel guilty? No.

Internet, hear me. I'm not guilty. Lol. :P

Ok, sometimes I still do feel guilty but not as much as before. And I know Mr. T has completely different views about this, he already knows that going home an hour or two later than usual is already ok. No need to beat ourselves up for it, just make the most out of it. After reading more about attachment parenting, I have come to realize that spending most (if not all) of my time and energy with and for my daughter brings no balance to my personal and our family life. I have to make time for my husband, myself and other things too. In order for me to do this, I needed to do some changes and I am sharing some of them to you.

Things You Don't Say/Ask to a Breastfeeding Mama

Yes, in case you have missed it, my darling daughter is now 19 months and still breastfeeding. :) It's one of the best choices we have made as first-time parents. We know we are providing the best for our daughter.

I remember when I first watched the movie Grownups, we weren't married yet. It was the scene when the group reunited for the first time at the coach's funeral. They were seating in a gazebo chatting when Kevin James' son walked up to the mom and asked to breastfeed. The group was taken aback, someone asked how old the boy was and Kevin James responded, 48 months, trying to downplay the age. Then the couple went defensive and explained that they're trying to wean him already.

That was a funny scene, or back then I thought it was.

Fast-forward to today, I am now a Mama to my beautiful daughter, and we are breastfeeding. I have learned a lot about the importance of breastfeeding not only during the first 6 months of a baby's life but also extended breastfeeding for a toddler. Anyway you look at it, breast milk is still superior to any other kind of milk being offered in the market.

See, here in our country, it is just recently that breastfeeding is really breaking through. Years before, milk formula companies together with their marketing ploys and ads did a great job at making people think that formula milk is as good as breast milk. Packed with vitamins and nutrients that they have studied that are supposed to be similar to what a child gets from breast milk. Before I got pregnant, I didn't know formula milk was all that bad, we even tried giving Ava formula milk before when I was about to go back to work just in case I don't get to meet her daily milk requirements by pumping. She was around 3 months then, and that was the only thing I regret doing as a parent. I was so misinformed.

Babywearing and Breastfeeding in a SaYa

I think I was more emotional now that Ava turned 18 months old compared when she turned one. Lol. I wonder why. Maybe because we are also celebrating some of the milestones she did at 6 months or maybe because it's Mother's Day. Or most likely, one of those times when I can't help but think that my baby's growing up so fast. #nanaysentiments

Breastfeeding while babywearing my 18m.o. darling daughter. 

So one result of my senti moment, I posted a photo of Ava breastfeeding while I wore her in our much loved SaYa carrier. And the beautiful Miss Buding, took notice and asked if I could make a simple video tutorial. I just love sharing and learning to and from other moms so I told her that I'll surely make one. And this is also my Mother's Day gift to my fellow babywearing Mamas. :)

Celebrating One Year of BLW

It was exactly on Ava's 6th month celebration when we introduced her to solids. Her first food was avocado. That was one year ago already.

When we started out with the whole parenting thing, we were basically relying on our doctors, parents and siblings for advises. That meant doing everything the traditional way. As we adjusted a few months later, we began to have a better understanding that we are already building a family of our own. I, particularly, wanted to break from my family's norm of raising up kids. Don't get me wrong, I am forever grateful to my parents and I respect my siblings' decisions in raising up their own kids. It's just that I think, our generations have evolved immensely and there are significant information that we didn't know back then that we know now. That's where our choice for Attachment Parenting (AP) came in.