Stay-at-Home-Moms vs. Working Moms

It's gonna be a never-ending topic.. Both trying to outdo each other in the field of motherhood. My two cents on this, if you have time, please read on.

First, let me share with you what I think the differences are between SAHMs and working moms.

The Working Moms

I am a working mom, out of the house from 8:00 in the morning and back at 7:00pm or sometimes later. But when I am at home, I am a wife and a mother. I cook our meals, make sure our place is clean, check Ava's things and attend to both my husband's and daughter's needs. On weekends, I make sure that we get to spend quality family time, regardless if we're just at home or out for a leisure. This for me, is what motherhood for a working mom is.

But then there's also a different version of a working mom. She works in the office the whole day, goes home at night. Eat dinner with the family, plays a little with the baby and then calls Yaya to take care of the baby for the rest of the night because she has a million other things to do. Work, internet, tired, whatever. Yes, similar to the ones we sometimes see on TV. Where the babies get more attached to the Yayas? It really happens.

I also know of some work-at-home-moms (WAHM) and they are awesome. :) They do their work from home and they get to take care of their babies first-hand as well.

The Stay-at-Home-Moms

SAHMs should be no different than working moms and they are equally hard-working as well. I also know this first-hand because I'd like to label myself as a SAHM during weekends. :) Here's what I think SAHMs do or should do. They wake up early to attend to their husbands needs before leaving for work. Then they attend to the baby's needs the whole day. And on top of that, house chores and everything in between. The presence of a helper is of course valuable but for me, they should be there just to assist you. I think in choosing to be SAHM, it also means that you are choosing to take charge of your family's well-being and that will only happen if you experience doing these things first-hand.

If you are doing otherwise, then maybe this mom is right somehow. Harsh words, yes but there's truth in some of them.

Screen capture used with permission.

Having help is not a problem at all because we can't do it all right? But if you rely on them in taking care of the baby, house chores, practically everything and you just sit around the house, sleeping, bumming, demanding and whatever, without lifting a finger, then I think that's where the argument will come from.

Working moms sacrifice their time away from their family just so they can help provide their needs. But that doesn't mean they will just put being a mother on the sideline. SAHMs also sacrificed their time and independence (mostly financial) so they can attend to their family's needs more. But that doesn't mean they will just bum around and demand things from their husbands.

We have different families with different needs. The most important thing is your family's well-being. Yes, it's not just about the baby, but it's also about your husband and yourself. Your disposition as a wife, as a mother and as a person. Working or not. open yourself up to learn from other people's experiences, advises and opinions. Because no matter what they say, it's still gonna be your call which of those things you'll take.

At the end of the day, we're all mothers anyway. :)

*A special shout to Ams. She has a wonderful post about how it's like to be a stay-at-home-mom.